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About Varied / Hobbyist Member Ayame KyoFemale/Netherlands Groups :iconanime-games-united: Anime-Games-United
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This journal entry contains depressing bullshit, so I don't recommend to read it if you're easily triggered or if you're just really not in the mood for depressing shit. c:

I have warned you.


--

Ever since a few days ago my mood has been dropping at random times and not just the kind of "I feel meh." type of mood, but the "Why am I alive?" type. After such a long period of feeling good with minor depressing moods I have somehow gone back to feeling suicidal. I cannot really think of anything that might have triggered these thoughts again since it has been about a year since I last had suicidal thoughts. No, I am not planning on killing myself. Besides that I don't want to hear those fucking repetitive bullshit lectures with "Suicide won't solve anything." because I know it fucking won't. Yes, while feeling depressed like this I do think that everyone (including me) is better off without me being alive, but I repeat: I am not planning on committing suicide. I know damn well how it feels when someone close to you suddenly disappears out of your life because of suicide or death in general. There are people close to me who do not deserve to experience that pain again because of me.
Besides that I have gone back to an old really fucking stupid habit of mine and I regret doing it: Self harm. And here we go again with the "Cutting/Bruising yourself won't solve anything." bullshit. Again: I know I won't solve shit. It's really fucking stupid of me to do it again after all those months of avoiding it. I seriously hate myself for doing this, but ah well. xD I will try my best not to do it again.
I am glad I have friends who are my shoulder to cry on, especially WishOnAWing who has been an incredible friend since the very beginning. Though, it's a shame that I don't have many friends who live nearby and the friends who do live in my city barely talk to me, not like they used to. So yeah, that's quite upsetting. xD But I am glad I can talk with my close friends through Facebook and WhatsApp, even when they can't really talk to me face to face. They are the ones who keep me alive and going.

But yeah.. my mind is a complete mess right now. I don't know what I want anymore. I do know one thing: I want freedom. I don't wanna be stuck with certain rules to keep the people who call themselves "parents" happy. Just one more year.. one more and I'll have my freedom.
  • Mood: Miserable
  • Listening to: The Promise by Emma Blackery

deviantID

SharpAmethyst
Ayame Kyo
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
Netherlands


Original Characters and Fan Characters by KiraiMiraichildhood memories by emocxProud Deviant Stamp by Mirz123Stamp Collab: Here for Art! by TheSaltyMonsterWARNING: Aggressive ***** by Hurricane-HannahI'm not out to please everyone. by LainaofthesandLOLWARNING by VexcelAnother Believe it Or Not Stamp by endlerInternet by fear-the-brilliance::. Stamp: Star-gazer .:: by KittyCritters{Sadist} by xXtoxic-infectionXxObsessive by CynpaiNope. by Little-rolling-beanDeviantART stamp by Mel-RoseyI really do not care what you think. by World-Hero21stamp- to parents xD by ILoveKnucklesShadowStamp: Frustrated Stamp #5543509 by 8manderz8Pretend by ashestoMy Voice Sounds Better Stamp by mylastelEnglish is weird Stamp 1 by Infinite-CarouselA Thousand Years stamp by Mel-RoseyDa Rules by SharpAmethystLove Being Loved by Mirz123Quit Yer Whinin' by I-am-BrittaFiction by ashestoSince when is age important in a discussion? by KiraiMiraiDefensive stamp by Infinite-CarouselVery Much Loved Stamp ~ by Lill-Devil-MeliiI Love Whom I Love Stamp by PurpleTartanEquality Everywhere by savagebinn

Hello everyone! I am not that good at introducing myself but let's begin with my name. Since I dislike my actual name a lot I prefer being called Sharp since that is basically my (nick)name all over the internet. I am seventeen years old and I am standing at 162cm. I currently live in The Netherlands where my dad's born. My mother is from Indonesia, which makes me a Caucasian (?). I am very interested in the Japanese culture and I hope to go there some day to see how it's really like. My hobbies are: Cosplaying, singing, dancing, photography, Role-Playing, gaming, watching Anime and reading Manga. I have been Cosplaying since 2012 and I came in touch with Anime/Manga in 2011. I grew up surrounded by technology as I already had my own PC when I was around the two/three years old. Cannot say that I really love technology, but I don't think I can go without it, not in this generation that is.
I am here on deviantART to 'show off' my artworks and to collect some amazing fanart from games, Animes and Mangas. I am very picky about a lot of things, especially art, can't do much about that. e A e



Please check out my lovely friends as well!:
AkiraKyooWishOnAWingx-vocaXkagene-xQuana0204RikaYamada



:facebook: Here's my Facebook!
:twitter: Here's my Twitter!
Here'smy YouTube channel!


Cosplay I do/did:
Kurusu Syo from Uta no Prince-sama♪ AllStar (2014-Now)
Male!Stocking Anarchy from Panty and Stocking and Garterbelt (2013 - Now)
Marshall Lee from Adventure Time (2013 - 2014)
Gareki from Karneval (2013 - Now)
Sharp Amethyst my OC (2013 - Now)
Hajime Saitou from Hakuouki Shinsengumi Kitan (2013 - Now)
96Neko from Nico Nico Douga (2013-Now)
Kurusu Syo from Uta no Prince-sama: Maji LOVE 1000%; concert ver. (2012)
Ciel Phantomhive from Kuroshitsuji (2012 - 2013)
Hatsune Miku from VOCALOID2 (2012)


Or, Hell, Even Possibly Gay, or a Trans Guy by endlereeeeyup. by TheArtOfNotLikingYouStamp: You're not mature by Riza-IzumiStamp: Magical Powers by TheSaltyMonsterComments. by The-Legend-Of-BuraiStrawberry Stamp by Kezzi-RoseTypo by fear-the-brillianceRain over hot weather by RoliStampsYaoi and female characters by RoliStampsTruth Set You Free Stamp by mirz-altI DON'T LIKE CHANGE EVERYTHING HAS TO BE THE SAME by endlerUn-attractiveness of a race. by The-Legend-Of-BuraiLove Is Love [Stamp] by LentertamentRamen Love Stamp by Kezzi-RosePosted in public. by The-Legend-Of-BuraiHey, Mommy by L3xil3inNo one is better by CleliusCanon X OC Pairings by Sparkleee-SprinkleI'm an... by BlackJillHappier S.T.A.M.P by 4EverYoungKidMy Interests are Your Problem? by alisagirardStamp: No, it isn't by N7-CommanderNot Over You_Stamp by JEricaMI R EDUMACATED by World-Hero21Motherhood's Not for Everyone Stamp by the-ocean-singsWe're killing future babies every month by World-Hero21A puzzle that is hard to decipher by ayame18Jump In Stamp by Kezzi-RoseInstrumental Music by ashestoBAWWW UR OPINION IS OFFENSIVE!! I REPORTED U!!1 by World-Hero21



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Stamp: Coffee Addiction by TheSaltyMonsterThey Mysteriously Appear -- Stamp by InsaneRomanThis Mindset... by mylastelDon't be an attention-seeker. by World-Hero21Stamp: Please tell me when by 8manderz8{Won't Make Yours Bigger} by xXtoxic-infectionXxBawlocked by FearlessLullabyJust Another Assumption People Tend to Make by ETrademarkkNothing wrong with them .:Male:. by RoliStampsStamp: g4m3r gur1z 101z0rz by ScytheSkullI talk to myself... by prosaix{Underestimate} by xXtoxic-infectionXxA loving heart.. by KiraiMiraiRequest: True Love Can't Exist by World-Hero21Pyjama Days Stamp by Kezzi-RoseThen stop replying. by World-Hero21There's nothing wrong about them .:Female:. by RoliStampsThink about it. by ViscountDevil{Sadist} by xXtoxic-infectionXxI'm more anti-social than I seem. by World-Hero21Im A Gamer not a gamergirl by EyenoomIt should be a right for everyone. by World-Hero21Boys and girls: They can like what they like by RoliStampsMusic is music, no matter what by RoliStampsRudeness - stamp by Angi-Shywhat, are you god? by DametoraChronic yawner by prosaixCupcake stamp by Mel-RoseyFirebending Wish by ZukoSixx{I Know How You Feel} by xXtoxic-infectionXx



{I'm Not Spoiled} by xXtoxic-infectionXxI wear converse! stamp by iFreak0utStamp: Just a wee bit ageist by 8manderz8{You Can't Process Me With A Normal Brain} by xXtoxic-infectionXxSee You in Hell Stamp by justdacatNOT A BAD GAME :U by RoliStampsThen Unwatch Me. by World-Hero21{It's Cute How Stupid You Are} by xXtoxic-infectionXxUndercover Ninja by DesuSigMakerCarry On Stamp by mirz-altFoot In Your Ass Stamp by Autumn-Blizzard-FangOne or Two Friends is Enough by mylastelSarcastic Stamp by Vexic929Not a Little Girl Anymore by mylastelFailing At Hating by RebiValeskaNorthern Lights Stamp by devils-horizonRainbows + Unicorns Stamp by Mirz123Pieces of Heart Stamp by Mirz123{headache} by RebiValeskaMy Own World by BakerizeDeviantPor- I mean Art. by DesuSigMakerAlways Be With Me Stamp by Mirz123Love My Peeps Stamp by Mirz123Never Fit In Stamp by Mirz123A boyfriend. by The-Legend-Of-Buraimy butt is fine, thanks by pixelat0rySuits are Sexy by ashestoTrue Friendship Stamp by Mirz123Romance by ashestoI don't know you enough. by PrincessFlaw


Late Night Love by Rainbow-ReverseStamp: You're going to learn this by 8manderz8LGBT Cartoon Characters by MaliciousesStamp: Frustrated Stamp #5543509 by 8manderz8Homosexuals are not the same as Pedophiles by Haters-Gonna-Hate-MeStamp 17 (Own Little World) by Synthetic--EcstasyKids and the internet. by Petya14No Matter Their Age or Gender by endlerNot an Excuse, A Real Fucking Problem by endlerAccordingToYouHeavenIsFullOfAssholes by endlerChange by sugarislife28Stamp Teleport by TheSaltyMonsterStamp: Don't do it! by 8manderz8Someone to uuuunddeeerrrstaaaand by DemachicNot all Asians are Chinese Stamp by CureStarStampsStamp: In some ways I fail as a girl. by CatthyloveStop making duck face by Eitvys200It's Not Just Installed Into Kids by endlerWhen Life Gives You Lemons You Should Get Creative by sammygreen066aTRUEfriend by mylastelEssence of Friendship Stamp by mylastelDon't Lead Them On Stamp ~ by Lill-Devil-MeliiInside and Out by mylastelNo Ordinary People by delusional-dreamsYou Know When by AudioDaisiesA Friend who Believes by SazLeighOh please..  by KiraiMiraiLove by Teacup-MilkI just want you :stamp: by LabyrinthalessSpirit Day Stamp by Infinite-Carousel



You Think I Care Stamp by bizarrostamps+Stamp+ On DA to Find not to Force by TenshiNoFuuanhedonia by HopesForFun777Tea Makes Everything Better by delusional-dreamsI laugh at fandom haters by prosaixProblem Stamp by FlamestripesNever Give Up by iSpyCandidLace Up Your Shoes by ashestoStamp. by TrynnieStrict and demanding. by The-Legend-Of-BuraiSquishy Stamp Off the Port Bow by endlerMystery by ashestoStamp: Anti anti-orientation by JammerleeDreamworks Jack + Head Tilt Stamp by TwilightProwlerStamp: Inalienable Rights by 8manderz8Stamp by Saigyou-AiaHandwritten Letters by delusional-dreamsI have a right to my opinions too. by World-Hero21I'm a Child of the Darkness. by UmbrellaUnrequiredCount on me by mylastel
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:iconjyoujo:
jyoujo Featured By Owner 5 days ago  Student Photographer
:wave: Hi !:shamrock:
:glomp: 4  :+fav:(ing) m e :nod:
:airborne: 
have a nice day ! ! ! 
Reply
:iconwowgolem1:
wowgolem1 Featured By Owner 6 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank You For The Llama ^-^
Reply
:iconscoodaloo-bunny:
Scoodaloo-Bunny Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2014  Student Writer
Thank you so much for the llama :iconarmstrongtighthugplz:
Reply
:iconhazuki-mayonaka:
Hazuki-Mayonaka Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the fave ^0^ Ene (Smile) [V7] 
Reply
:iconbluelilou:
Bluelilou Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2014
Thanks again for fav and appreciate my work :) cheers
Reply
:iconsexiakagamine:
SexiaKagamine Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2014  New member Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks for the llama! Hatsune Miku-13 (Wink and Heart) 
Reply
:icondark-templar-knight:
Dark-Templar-Knight Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2014  Student Photographer
thanks for fav
Reply
:iconbluelilou:
Bluelilou Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2014
Big thank for fav my work :)
Reply
:iconalphonseelricswife:
AlphonseElricsWife Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
hello! Do you plan on working on your utapri oc nanko?
fav.me/d51afqf
Reply
:iconsharpamethyst:
SharpAmethyst Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm not quite sure, why? o:
Reply
:iconalphonseelricswife:
AlphonseElricsWife Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I just thought it'd be cool. Because I happen to love seeing utapri oc's. May I also add her into my group? UtaPri-Freakz ?
Reply
:iconsharpamethyst:
SharpAmethyst Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Since that is an old account of mine I do not think it's a smart idea, since I am still taking my time to import all my old art into this account and I will end up removing everything from my old account. I personally don't think I'll be using that OC anymore and use her design for something else. But thank you for taking the time to ask, though. It's really appreciated. c:
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconwaywardgal:
waywardgal Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2014  Student General Artist
You are so amazing for taking the time out to favorite some of my works! It means so much that you liked it, and I hope you will consider watching Heart
Reply
:iconthelaughingsandwich:
TheLaughingSandwich Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2014  Student Photographer
 

Hello fabulous

Thankyou for the llama :hug:


If you want check out more of my work and other sites ~

thelaughingsandwich.deviantart…

youtube - www.youtube.com/channel/UCGvFQ…

twitter - twitter.com/DoctorSandwich

Thankyou have an lovely day  :tighthug:

P.s sorry for the late reply :3

Reply
:iconphariam:
Phariam Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2014
Totally watching you here and following you on tumblr! It would be amazing to see you at Abunai <3
Reply
:iconsharpamethyst:
SharpAmethyst Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I don't think it'll be difficult to find me on Abunai, since I am going to wear a pretty original cosplay. xD
Reply
:iconphariam:
Phariam Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2014
I saw it, yes! I'm looking forward to it! I'll be cosplaying Alois Trancy from Kuroshitsuji (although I'm probably not the only one there who will, lol) so maybe we'll meet ^^
Reply
:iconsharpamethyst:
SharpAmethyst Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I'll keep an eye out. c:
Reply
:iconfenestra-works:
Fenestra-Works Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2014
Thanks for the fav! ^^
Reply
:iconxxapple-dashxx:
XxApple-DashxX Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2014  Student Digital Artist
Nice stamps!
Reply
:iconshinkan-seto:
Shinkan-Seto Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Ciel Phantomhive (Serious Look) [V1] Thank you so much for faving this:

:squee::squee:CIEL PHANTOMHIVE - Cosplay - Old Butler Tanaka by Shinkan-Seto :squee::squee:

Sebastian Michaelis (Hawt Response) [V2] Much appreciated!! ^o^

Make sure to check out my next uploads too, if you don't already watch me ;) (Wink)

_________________________________________________________________________

for W.I.P follow       Free twitter emote avatar   twitter.com/ShinkanSeto ;  Free twitter emote avatar 

fanpage                  Facebook www.facebook.com/shinkanseto.m… Facebook

WORLD COSPLAY    worldcosplay.net/member/Shinka…
Reply
:iconpes-a-tron:
PES-a-tron Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2014  New member Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for the Llama ^^
Reply
:iconzxzzz8:
zxzzz8 Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2014
Hello random fellow DeviantArtist = D
I wish you a happy day and good times ; )
Reply
:iconastutefish:
astutefish Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2014
Thanks!
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