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About Varied / Hobbyist SharpAmethystFemale/Netherlands Groups :iconanime-games-united: Anime-Games-United
It's our life.
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Deviant for 3 Years
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Lacking Ideas by fear-the-brillianceHate Artist's Block by fear-the-brillianceSomebody Already Thought of It by fear-the-brilliance
i love my CAMERA stamp by RRRAIWriters Block Stamp by user stamp by elPatrixF
Stamp_Mischievous Inspiration by Chivi-chivikHate Artist's Block Stamp by fear-the-brillianceTeenage Photographer by Bakerize

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Dreamworks Jack Frost + Seen Stamp by TwilightProwlerCharacters created on another planet by KawaiiSteffuPopularity by TheArtOfNotLikingYou
Stamp: What if? Version 2 by 8manderz8Lolita fashion -Punk- by Tea-StrawberryNever enough sleep by prosaix
Final Fantasy: Advent Children ~ Denzel ~ Stamp 1 by KiraiMiraiI love corsets stamp by Tea-StrawberryDW: Smiling Rose Stamp by randomkiwibirds
You zoophiles. by MaliciousesDon't Thank Me In Notes by SmearingSinAngry Alice by loupdenuit
Nicki Minaj by TheArtOfNotLikingYouBrouillard by loupdenuit''i Am Kawaii Desu~'' by KiraiMirai
Lol by TheArtOfNotLikingYouStamp Sailor Scouts Project : Sailor Saturn by yellowo4Doctor Who ~ Tenth Doctor ~ Stamp 3 by KiraiMirai
One Word Comments Suck by SmearingSinLolita fashion -Aristocrat- by Tea-StrawberryDifferent Opinions 2 - Stamp by Starrceline

... by TheArtOfNotLikingYouMcDonalds stamp by Tea-StrawberryThey're not a lie. by PACIFI5T
Enough is Enough STAMP by OpinionatedGhostKeep your booty to yourself by KiraiMiraiStamp 19(Save Me) by Synthetic--Ecstasy
Love by LadyQuintessenceKeep your v-jay-jay to yourself by KiraiMiraiFinal Fantasy XII ~ Fran ~ Stamp 1 by KiraiMirai
Lolita fashion -Guro- by Tea-Strawberrylulz u dun hav a lif !11!!11!1 by MaliciousesMy favourite thing to say.. xD by AlexHaruko
Happiness is...STAMP by SheilaBrinsonAMNSESIA ~ Shin ~ Stamp 8 by KiraiMiraiLights by vasselli
Japanese Street fanshion -Cult Party- by Tea-StrawberryWise Words by MaliciousesYer buring fer beeing reelistic11!! by Little-rolling-bean
pizza cravings by AlexHarukoSERIOUSLY? by KiraiMiraiCount on me by mylastel

gross by KiraiMiraiMultishipper - Stamp by XiiSpendinAllHerTimeBeing rude stamp by CheerfulPerson
Virgin Is Not A Synonym For Loser by JustYoungHeroesSince when exactly? by Iggster-von-BuraiFalling asleep to the sound of rain ~ stamp by Nimylu
Stars Can't Shine Without Darkness by ClefairyKidSakura by LaraLeeLJapanese street fashion -Visual- by Tea-Strawberry
Don't Hide Us by savagebinnI'm not your little slave by KiraiMiraiYep by TheArtOfNotLikingYou
Ovary Punting by endlerNot bullshit. by World-Hero21Stamp Sailor Scouts Project : Sailor Moon by yellowo4
SM- Princess Serenity stamp oo1 by Kaze-yo{Eevee} by xXtoxic-infectionXxDW: I Can See Stamp by randomkiwibirds
Stamps_They have no idea about skill by Chivi-chivikStampityStamp: Message by SouthrobinPSG ~ Stocking Anarchy ~ Stamp 5 by KiraiMirai

Your lack of talent is no-one else's fault. by AlexHarukoAnti fetish art by TheArtOfNotLikingYouAmazing. by TheArtOfNotLikingYou
VOCALOID is not an anime by AlexHarukoEeugh. by TheArtOfNotLikingYouAngry Female / Period by KiraiMirai
Lolita fashion -Victorian- by Tea-StrawberryRecolors by TheArtOfNotLikingYouSinner by Iggster-von-Burai
How to train your dragon by TheArtOfNotLikingYouOh c'mon! by KiraiMiraiIt doesn't work like that. by Rebi-Valeska
Waaahh stalker!1!!1 by Iggster-von-BuraiCosplay competition by TheArtOfNotLikingYouNico Nico Douga ~ Valshe ~ Stamp 1 by KiraiMirai
Doctor Who ~ Tenth Doctor ~ Stamp 6 by KiraiMiraiLolita fashion  -Ero- by Tea-StrawberryI love green eyes by DS-DNA
dIfFeRenT by mylastelCereal by endlerJack Frost, Stamp by BunnyFromTheHell

I love music by zelda-ocarinaInspiration Stamp, 100 Feet and Closing by endlerI do love rainbows by AlbinoSeaTurtle
Death Scene Love by ContraltissimoVocaloid Shipping, Urgh... by Mintaka-TKI wanna move things with my mind by prosaix
Photography stamp by MariaPereiraLes Misrables - Do you hear the people sing by KiraiMiraiKuroshitsuji Musical 2 ~ Stamp 1 by KiraiMirai
Slow internet... by prosaixRequest -Bleach is Not Amazing by Haters-Gonna-Hate-MeThe End of The World by Haters-Gonna-Hate-Me
Obnoxious Video Ad Stamp by In-The-ZoneThe Noise of Vacuums... by ETrademarkkSuch a Beautiful Lie by clumsyrebel
We love Phoenix by BlackRayserDW: Weeping Angel Stamp by randomkiwibirdsI Hate it when... by Hammer--Time
Can this just be an option already? by AlexHarukoMissed the Point Stamp by In-The-ZoneLack of creativity and talent much? by KiraiMirai

I Love London Stamp. by livinladolcevitaLolita fashion -Steampunk- by Tea-StrawberryDon't treat homosexuality as a fad stamp by CheerfulPerson
DW: Time Vortex Stamp by randomkiwibirdsFinal Fantasy XIII ~ Yuj ~ Stamp 1 by KiraiMiraiDoctor Who ~ Tenth Doctor ~ Stamp 5 by KiraiMirai
Tea Stamp by Sukiielul im so randumz!!11!11 pancake narwhal!11!1 by MaliciousesLolita fashion -Shiro- by Tea-Strawberry
Nico Nico Douga ~ 96Neko ~ Stamp 1 by KiraiMiraiOVERPAYING stamp by HopeSwings777Steampunk Stamp by TumblingTortoises
Lolita fashion -Classic- by Tea-Strawberry



Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
Sharp | F | 18 | Taken
Asexual | Panromantic
Gemini | INTP-T | Slytherin
Roleplaying since 2009

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My babes:
Defensive stamp by Infinite-CarouselVery Much Loved Stamp ~ by Lill-Devil-MeliiLove Being Loved by Mirz123Forever by 1FoxyladyInside My Heart Stamp by mylastel

I want the old DeviantART back! by KiraiMiraiOriginal Characters and Fan Characters by KiraiMiraichildhood memories by emocxProud Deviant Stamp by Mirz123Stamp Collab: Here for Art! by TheSaltyMonsterWARNING: Aggressive ***** by Hurricane-Hannah
I'm not out to please everyone. by LainaofthesandLOLWARNING by VexcelAnother Believe it Or Not Stamp by endlerInternet by fear-the-brilliance::. Stamp: Star-gazer .:: by KittyCritters{Sadist} by xXtoxic-infectionXx
Obsessive by FelisTipsyStop talking to a mirror, buddy by KiraiMiraiDeviantART stamp by Mel-RoseyI really do not care what you think. by World-Hero21stamp- to parents xD by ILoveKnucklesShadowStamp: Frustrated Stamp #5543509 by 8manderz8
Pretend by ashestoMy Voice Sounds Better Stamp by mylastelEnglish is weird Stamp 1 by Infinite-CarouselA Thousand Years stamp by Mel-RoseyStamp: I love reading books by apparateFiction by ashesto
Equality Everywhere by savagebinnOr, Hell, Even Possibly Gay, or a Trans Guy by endlereeeeyup. by TheArtOfNotLikingYouOpinion, opinions. by Iggster-von-BuraiStamp: Magical Powers by TheSaltyMonsterStrawberry Stamp by Kezzi-Rose

Typo by fear-the-brillianceTruth Set You Free Stamp by mirz333Keep your pen-y to yourself by KiraiMiraiLove Is Love [Stamp] by LentertamentRamen Love Stamp by Kezzi-RoseHey, Mommy by L3xil3in
Lolita fashion -Hime- by Tea-StrawberryCanon X OC Pairings by Sparkleee-SprinkleLack of talent? Go take art classes by AlexHarukoHappier S.T.A.M.P by 4EverYoungKidMy Interests are Your Problem? by OdieFarberStamp: No, it isn't by N7-Commander
Not Over You_Stamp by JEricaMPrincess Serenity Stamp by uiopuiopThe Early Stamp by BusirisWe're killing future babies every month by World-Hero21A puzzle that is hard to decipher by ayame18Jump In Stamp by Kezzi-Rose
Instrumental Music by ashestoBAWWW UR OPINION IS OFFENSIVE!! I REPORTED U!!1 by World-Hero21Stamp: You don't run the world by Riza-IzumiNo, you're not a professional yet. by World-Hero21Cupcake Stamp by mylastelIf I'm a troll to you, DON'T FEED ME. by World-Hero21
It comes from EVERYONE. by World-Hero21So what #1 by RebiValeskaSometimes it's plainly un-provoked. by RebiValeskaI Eat Whipped Cream Straight From the Can Stamp by el-JimmeisterStamp: Butterfly! by TheSaltyMonsterIt's Fucking Windows 98! [STAMP] by Lentertament

Howling Wolf Stamp by SunnStampSecond language by ShantellaSarcasm by TheArtOfNotLikingYouWanna Know My Secrets? by MissGingerIceRude when need to be. by World-Hero21Bases by TheArtOfNotLikingYou
french frieeeeeees by AlexHaruko{Investigating} by xXtoxic-infectionXx{Perfect} by xXtoxic-infectionXxremove ur opinion it offends me by itsMYopinion{Sometimes} by xXtoxic-infectionXx{Fuckin Awesome} by xXtoxic-infectionXx
{Bad Attitude} by xXtoxic-infectionXx{Never Give Up} by xXtoxic-infectionXx{Smile} by xXtoxic-infectionXxCyberSteampunk stamp by Tea-StrawberryFictional Love by BakerizeI Piss People Off Stamp by mirz333
Homophobia is Disgusting - REQUEST by el-JimmeisterLike Clouds Stamp by mylastelStamp: Coffee Addiction by TheSaltyMonsterStamp - Not Feminine by foxleeThis Mindset... by mylastelDon't be an attention-seeker. by World-Hero21
Stamp: Please tell me when by 8manderz8{Won't Make Yours Bigger} by xXtoxic-infectionXx{Mew} by xXtoxic-infectionXxStamp_Please no need to insult fancreators by Chivi-chivikNothing wrong with them .:Male:. by RoliStampsStamp: It's okay, be you by Sinamuna

I talk to myself... by prosaix{Underestimate} by xXtoxic-infectionXxUse Them Proper Pronouns/Names They've Chosen by endlerRequest: True Love Can't Exist by World-Hero21Pyjama Days Stamp by Kezzi-RoseThen stop replying. by World-Hero21
There's nothing wrong about them .:Female:. by RoliStampsThink about it. by ViscountDevil{Sadist} by xXtoxic-infectionXxI'm more anti-social than I seem. by World-Hero21Im A Gamer not a gamergirl by EyenoomIt should be a right for everyone. by World-Hero21
Boys and girls: They can like what they like by RoliStampsRudeness - stamp by Angi-Shywhat, are you god? by DametoraChronic yawner by prosaixCupcake stamp by Mel-RoseyFirebending Wish by ZukoSixx
{I Know How You Feel} by xXtoxic-infectionXx{I'm Not Spoiled} by xXtoxic-infectionXxCollab: I love Music by IceXDragonStamp: Just a wee bit ageist by 8manderz8{You Can't Process Me With A Normal Brain} by xXtoxic-infectionXxSee You in Hell Stamp by justdacat
Then Unwatch Me. by World-Hero21{It's Cute How Stupid You Are} by xXtoxic-infectionXxRape is Rape by XxchantellexXCarry On Stamp by mirz333STAMP: I love pizza by neurotripsyOne or Two Friends is Enough by mylastel

No difference. by Iggster-von-BuraiTea Stamp by Kezzi-RoseFailing At Hating by RebiValeskaNorthern Lights Stamp by devils-horizonRainbows + Unicorns Stamp by Mirz123Pieces of Heart Stamp by Mirz123
{headache} by RebiValeskaMy Own World by BakerizeDeviantPor- I mean Art. by DesuSigMakerAlways Be With Me Stamp by Mirz123Love My Peeps Stamp by Mirz123Never Fit In Stamp by Mirz123
my butt is fine, thanks by pixelat0rySuits are Sexy by ashestoTrue Friendship Stamp by Mirz123Romance by ashestoI don't know you enough. by PrincessFlawLate Night Love by Rainbow-Reverse
Stamp: You're going to learn this by 8manderz8LGBT Cartoon Characters by MaliciousesStamp: Frustrated Stamp #5543509 by 8manderz8Homosexuals are not the same as Pedophiles by Haters-Gonna-Hate-MeStamp 17 (Own Little World) by Synthetic--EcstasyKids and the internet. by Petya14
No Matter Their Age or Gender by endlerNot an Excuse, A Real Fucking Problem by endlerAccordingToYouHeavenIsFullOfAssholes by endlerEncouraging Free-Thinking by Rebi-ValeskaStamp Teleport by TheSaltyMonsterStamp: Don't do it! by 8manderz8

Someone to uuuunddeeerrrstaaaand by DemachicPicky Eaters by TheArtOfNotLikingYouLife Is Strange ~ Max Caulfield ~ Stamp 1 by KiraiMiraiIt's Not Just Installed Into Kids by endleraTRUEfriend by mylastelEssence of Friendship Stamp by mylastel
Don't Lead Them On Stamp ~ by Lill-Devil-MeliiInside and Out by mylastelNo Ordinary People by delusional-dreamsChrome Troubleshooting by SpeendlexA Friend who Believes by SazLeighJapanese Street fanshion -Angura- by Tea-Strawberry
Love by Teacup-MilkLolita fashion -Wa- by Tea-StrawberrySpirit Day Stamp by Infinite-CarouselYou Think I Care Stamp by bizarrostampsDW: Have a Good Life Stamp by randomkiwibirdsanhedonia by HopeSwings777
Tea Makes Everything Better by delusional-dreamsI laugh at fandom haters by prosaixNever Give Up by iSpyCandidLace Up Your Shoes by ashestoI am sorry I bullied you, you bitch. by Little-rolling-beanSquishy Stamp Off the Port Bow by endler
Mystery by ashestoStamp: Anti anti-orientation by JammerleeDreamworks Jack + Head Tilt Stamp by TwilightProwlerStamp: Inalienable Rights by 8manderz8Stamp by Saigyou-AiaHandwritten Letters by delusional-dreams

I have a right to my opinions too. by World-Hero21I'm a Child of the Darkness. by UmbrellaUnrequiredJapanese street fashion -Decora- by Tea-StrawberryuGHH by TheArtOfNotLikingYouSTAMP: I'm not obsessed... by neurotripsyReflected Sky Stamp by LaraLeeL
I Love Animation by fear-the-brillianceHalloween Stamp by GasaraDreamworks Jack + Snowball + Smirk Stamp by TwilightProwlerI Love The Night by TheLoveTrainCanon X OC Pairings by Sparkleee-SprinkleFerrero Collection Stamp by poserfan
Books Stamp by mylastelHatefaving by FelisTipsy.:Popularity Stamp:. by iEvilash
I feel like I should write an update on my previous journal entry, since a lot of new visitors on my page are commenting on it and I'd like to clear up several points that have changed over time.

Let's start with my schooling: since everyone else is on an internship we only have classes on Friday. Since I have been told that finding myself an internship is not necessary for it would be a waste of time and energy; I am home most of the time. And even when I am at college I don't even do a single thing. I just sit there with my laptop, mainly because I still pay for the school fees. If I were to quit college now, I will have to pay back my grant and stuff like that which will get me in a lot of financial trouble. This is the safest way for me to do things.
In the meantime I have signed myself up for another college and I've been accepted! That is a huge weight off my shoulders. I start in my new college in August and I'm looking forward to a different scenery.

As for my psychological problems I now have two different appointments every week:
- The first appointment I have is with the youth counsellor. We mostly discuss how I am doing and what I am doing when I'm not in school. She also helps me to think about things to do while I am not in school; as I get back into depression whenever I get bored.
- The second appointment I have is with a psychologist. Yes, I finally had contact with one and I've had three sessions so far. The first session was basically discussing what needs to be done and how we're going to do it. My psychologist decided to work on my past traumas first and reduce the tension that it gives me whenever I think of them in a detailed manner.
These sessions are rather heavy and even though I already feel like I am no longer in the mood to do them; I know that I need it. We're taking small steps and I genuinely hope that there will be huge differences in the future.

However, some things are still the same from my previous update;
I still get bored very easily and get demotivated to do anything that used to keep me busy throughout the day. I still have occasional emotional meltdowns, but there is unfortunately not much I can do about that. My main solution is to vent at friends, or to lay down in bed and cry it all out.
I also find myself in various conflicts with my significant other, purely because I need a lot of support from them but I can't always get it. There also has been a lot of miscommunication between us, but we're still together which puts my heart to rest. The way they talk to me and what effect it has on me is way different from when the words come from a normal friend of mine. I do not want to lose that feeling of relief whenever I vent to her.

Another thing that is the same is that my parents do not at all seem to understand the concept of me seeing a psychologist. When I first announced it to them they claimed that I was blaming them for my emotional issues. Though they are partially the problem; never have I put the blame entirely on them. And that is unfortunately something they do not listen to.
My youth counsellor came with the idea that she will explain my current situation to my parents, since whenever I say it; it seems to process in the wrong way. I accepted that offer, but it seems like my father somehow manages to avoid the calls from the youth counsellor. The next time I'll see her I will ask her to send my dad an email instead, maybe then it will be brought to their attention.

I still carry a lot of stress with me, but it is slowly being taken care of.
It's progress, but sometimes it just feels like it's not even helping at all.
  • Watching: Kitchen Nightmares

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sagaratutuji Featured By Owner 1 hour ago  New Deviant Student Traditional Artist
Thank you for the llama♪
TheSoullessRedbeard Featured By Owner 4 hours ago  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you for the Llama :D
Yukkichankun Featured By Owner 4 hours ago  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the llama ^^
TheRainIsNotStopping Featured By Owner 5 hours ago  New Deviant Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks for the llama.
GingerFay Featured By Owner 8 hours ago
Thank you for the llama: )
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